Elton Wildermuth

Elton is our favorite curmudgeon and dispenser of Grandmotherly Kindness, your kindly Uncle Nitnorth. He also plays instruments having strings and frets (like guitars, frinstance, or banjos) and sings if we don't catch him at it. Oh, and he rants ... did we mention about how he's a curmudgeon? We gathered up a random sample of his luna pithier pronouncements and arranged them so that you get them the way he dispenses them: one at a time, in random order, without worrying too hard about whether you've heard it before. WARNING The rants are offensive to EVERYbody. People he likes. People he doesn't like. People he never even met and likely never will. People he goes to BED with, would you believe it ... god, the insensiTIVity of that man! You don't really want to read them. Trust us: you won't like them.

...Or, if you're really foolhardy, you (yes, YOU!) can even ask Uncle Nitnorth a question of your own ... and if his answer is curmudgeonly enough, you can find it later as one of the rants. Think of it, your name in lights (well, electrons) for the whole world to stare at and wonder, who WAS that masked man and why was he wearing a G-string over his eyes? --Although we have to warn you in advance, he doesn't answer everything and you won't always get a snotty answer: sometimes he remembers to take his medicine.

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